Another Reason Unemployment Is High And The Economy Is Soft....

So, I call back today to check on the job I THOUGHT I had lined up. Apparently, the company has their OWN rating system for points on your license, and even though I would be using my own insurance, and will work 60 hours a week if I can, they can't hire me.

The manager said she had 180 hours she had to give to somebody, and I responded, "Well, that's probably most of the reason you have 180 hours available, the company is too picky, especially considering they aren't liable if there's an accident."

When corporations pick and choose who they hire based on irrelevant points, unemployment rises because many people who want that job can't get it for baseless reasons. Hence, the economy suffers because they aren't making money to spend.

Corporations will be the downfall of America. They and the people who run them largely suffer from RCI -- Rectal-Cranial Inversion.... It affects 95% of Charlottesville. Otherwise known as "Head-Up-Your-Ass" Syndrome.

The Irony In This Just KILLS Me.....

Okay, so last night my phone rings.... totally caught me off guard because it hasn't rung for an actual taxi call much in the past year. Usually friends, etc....

It was a female student who has not called me in over a year and a half. I asked where she'd been, and she responds, "I thought you had gone out of business." Jesus, the irony here. I'm going out of business BECAUSE people like her have been using this stupid rationale to not call me!

When in reality, I know why. As I said before, these people will ride a Sherman tank if it gets them there cheaper. I know who they've been calling. The limos that are running as taxis illegally. The shuttle buses that are in no way, shape, or form, legal.

I said, "Well, ma'am, the irony in this is that I AM going out of business this weekend BECAUSE people like you haven't been calling me."

"Oh, we'll start calling you..." blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Sure. It's a little too late for that now.

She was in a large group, and wasn't even part of the group that rode with me. Whatever. She did call later.... Want to know how THAT call went? Keep reading.

She called and told me she was at a bar about two blocks from where I was. No problem, I'll be there in about thirty seconds. I told her I would be on the Market Street side of the building, and which way to go to find me.

Here's a map to explain what happened next. Locations are circled in red, street names are circled in blue to show locations in relation to each other.


Forty seconds later, some people I assumed to be with her group approached the van and got in.

Four blocks later, my phone rings again for Call 2, wanting to know where I am. Keep in mind this position on the map is a guess, because she didn't even know where she was for sure. I informed her that I thought I had her people because I had told her I would be on the Market Street side "Where I Am". Before that call was over, she put her friend on, who said they were on Water Street. I told her I would be back as soon as I dropped the people who had gotten her cab.

Call 3 came two minutes later. They had determined where they were on Water Street, and it was pretty obvious that they were walking. I told them that I would not be able to find them if they continued walking, because they would not be where they said they were.

Two minutes after THAT, in comes Call 4. Still walking. I told them that I was on my way back to get them, and that they needed to stop walking or I would not be able to find them.

I arrive at THAT location 4 minutes later. Calling her back got the response, "Oh, we got another ride." And just when was she planning on calling me to let me know about this?!!!

People like this are too stupid to be left unsupervised, and I really hope that she reads this and sees how stupid she was being. People exactly like this doing stupid things exactly like this are part of the reason I am going out of business.

Bad Business Tactics.....

If you were given a price for goods or services by a company that couldn't be there to serve you, you probably wouldn't trust that company, would you?

In an effort to take airport business from those of us who are licensed to work airport (AND PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE, MIND YOU)..... Every idiot in this business that doesn't work airport is quoting $25 flat rates to and from the airport -- generally a 10-mile trip. However, none of them are usually here when these people come in. There's no sense in giving someone a discounted rate when you don't show up, and there is no way in hell I am going to honor these prices when I wait 4 hours or more for a trip.

All this is doing is pissing off the customers. They feel they're being baited and switched, and I don't much blame them. These idiots say I'M the one ruining the business? It is to laugh. I'm not the one making promises I can't deliver on.

Some People Are Just TOO STUPID To Be Left Unsupervised......

From a few days ago.... but still funny.....

Okay, so this moron picking up his friend at the airport parks 5 feet from the curb, half in the traffic lane, half in the loading zone. Opens his door just as I'm passing by and I just barely avoided ripping his door off. Keep in mind the speed limit in front of the terminal is 15 mph, and I was doing maybe 10.

Believe it or not, the door barely touched my bumper, but only because I swerved when I saw the door opening. When I mentioned that the vehicle was parked too far from the curb, the asshole driving it actually had the nerve to try to blame it on me by saying I should have slowed down. Give this guy a cork for his fork so he doesn't poke his eye out.

Keep in mind, my van's fender is barely longer than the tire, and the edge of his open door was barely even with the mirror on my van after I stopped, so does anyone think I was going too fast?

What a fucking moron. SUVs - Big Wheels For Little Minds!

How Much More Can I Take?

Without a doubt, this just was not my day. 7 hours to get one fare from the airport, which went 3 miles. Even with a minimum airport charge of $25.00, it wasn't worth it..... I worked 11 hours tonight for $47 and a "fuck you, I'll stand in the street if I want to" from a group of frat brats. This, after I almost hit their stupid asses standing in a poorly-lit street, wearing all black. Smart?!!!

Tax Dollars Hard At Work With Gestapo Tactics...

Well, I knew the US was anti-small business, but this is ridiculous. Went to work my taxi the other night, and I got stopped for loading a fare at the curb, that's all I did. The ordinance is written that taxis cannot block or impede traffic, but despite 6 months of working with traffic engineers on the problem, we still have no place to pull over.

Yet the police are starting a detail specifically for this, when it took them 7 years to catch a rapist. Sounds like profiling to me, harrassing the working man for trying to make a living with an ordinance and no way to obey it.

Is that bacon I smell? Yeah, Officer O'Malley, go back to your doughnuts. Tax dollars hard at work.

I've Just Started World War III -- I Am So Proud!!!

Oooookay.... Remember the nursery school posts? Remember the 60 and 70 year old men acting like toddlers? Well, as the saying goes, when you tease a snake, you're bound to get bitten.

The crybabies in the airport line complained about my meter rates being higher than theirs until the airport posted a sign telling customers to compare rates. Which has screwed me out of quite a few fares.

Now that I can carry 6 passengers (as set forth in the state and local city code), I am offering group discounts by passenger request on a per-person basis.

One of these crybabies could have been timed with a stopwatch as to how quick he started swearing when he saw me show up in the van. He's stuck his foot in his mouth 3 times already.

#1) "He's gonna be upset at the start of next year." Apparently, he and the other crybabies are going to start running to and from the airport for $25. Fine by me, it keeps them out of my hair, and as rude as some of them are to the passengers, it can only help me. I think it's hilarious that they think I CARE what they do.

#2) "He can't have that lettering. You can't take over 5, that's city code." Answer: State and city code allow up to six passengers in a taxi cab, if seat belts are available for six.

#3) "He doesn't have but $125,000 insurance. He can't do that." Answer: City and Airport police both have insurance certificates on file for $500,000 on my van.

It's interesting how these guys are so interested in what I am doing. I dare the airport to remove the sign advising passengers to compare rates. I dare the crybabies to ask that it be removed.

Remember the ballroom waltz? Whine-whine-whine complain, bitch-bitch, bitch-bitch! Whine-whine-whine complain, bitch-bitch, bitch-bitch!

What A Ride!!!

Wow. This is why we have regular safety inspections, boys and girls. This is also why taxicabs cost so much to operate.

I bought my Mercury in April of 2007. Not long after I bought it, a crucial piece of the suspension, commonly known as a ball joint, failed, immobilizing it. When this happens, the vehicle basically collapses to the ground on the affected corner and grinds to a halt, if you're lucky enough for this to happen at a low speed. If you aren't so lucky?.... Vehicles have been known to spin wildly out of control and turn over because of this.

As there are four of these in Crown Vics and Marquis', I had all four replaced, at a cost of $900.00. Needless to say, I will never use the shop in question again, since the parts were at over 100% markup.

On to the point. 30 months and 80,000 taxi miles later, the SAME ball joint (interesting, to say the least) failed AGAIN at 50 miles an hour. As I mentioned before this is extremely dangerous.

The car bounced hard off the pavement nine times before it finally settled and began dragging on the pavement, literally dribbling me like a basketball in the driver's seat. My head hit the ceiling at least four times.

Fortunately, I was vacant, having dropped a fare less than two minutes earlier. No other vehicles were within half a mile, and the tire apparently blew out and became trapped under the car, preventing its weight from digging into the pavement too hard. This quite likely saved my life.

Somewhere, someone or something, whichever it may be, still likes me. If this had happened 100 feet down the road, the car would likely have rolled. It's a wonder it did not spin out or otherwise go out of control.

Looks like I bought the van just in time.

Grrrrr....

Okay, these local hotels are really starting to get on my nerves. They are telling people what THEY think a taxi should cost from the airport, and don't have the slightest clue what the hell they are talking about.

A woman came out tonight going to a hotel on the far east end of town. If memory serves, it's around 12-13 miles. Runs around $48 on my meter, so I told her I could do it for $45. She tells me she was told this should cost around $25.

No one will even leave the airport line for less than $17. Most of us won't leave for less than $20. I won't leave for less than $25. With a maximum expected haul of 3 rides per shift, what do you expect?

At any rate, I already knew at this point I would not be getting the fare. Any time someone starts this "I was told" bullshit, they are going to take the cheapest cab they can find.

I informed her that there were minimum charges from the airport, and the minimums, as well as the fares, would vary from cab to cab. She got a price from the next cab, and asked if I would do it for that. I politely said, "No, ma'am, have a nice night."

The way I see it, if she got a price from another cab, let her ride with that cab. I'll be damned if I am going to let another driver put a price on my service.

The customer thinks.....
she proved how smart she is.

The other driver thinks.....
he proved how stupid I am, and that I'm a crook.

I think....
the customer proved what a cheapskate she is.

I think.....
the other driver proved what a slave he is to someone else's whim. The company he works for sets his wage.

Wake up, people. You're not showing how smart you are. All you are showing is how cheap you are. I know that my opinion of you means nothing to you. But to give anyone and everyone this impression of you, over a few dollars? Have you no shame?

I truly do not care whether someone rides with me or not. I have come to find that what most people consider a good tip combined with the so-called going rate is actually less than what my meter runs. I barely make minimum wage now. I would rather risk missing a ride than do it for no profit.

My fare from the airport is usually only about $10.00 more than the average competitor. What's funny about all this is that I have seen people wait in the cold for 20-30 minutes for a "cheaper" taxi to arrive, just to save that $10.00. Are they really THAT stupid?

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You get what you pay for. Chances are, if a cab driver is charging more than others, there is probably a reason. Around here, you either get a cab driver who:

A) is a cab driver and nothing else
B) is a cab driver when he's not dealing or transporting drugs
C) is on welfare

More Work-Related Thoughts....

I have considered doing a shuttle service with the van instead of just a taxi service. Doing a test run by making a lap of the area to the most common destinations from the airport, the meter ran $98 without allowing for loading or heavy traffic, and took around an hour. Ten minutes of time is $6.50, and I think I should allow approximately 30 minutes for traffic and loading, which would make a total time of approximately 90 minutes. The extra time for loading and traffic would come to about $20.00 or so, coming to about $120.00 total.

If the meter runs $60.00 to encompass common destinations, the shuttle should divide the $60.00 among however many riders on that particular trip (e.g., 6 riders at $10.00 each, 5 riders at $12.00 each, 4 riders at $15.00 each, and so on)

I am also considering just selling the business, buying a small car and going back to delivering food like I used to do. I have come to realize that I am working more hours for less money than when I delivered food. On top of that, I don't have much of a life outside of work, and I know there's more to life than just work.

Interesting Run-In With The Inhabitants Of A Tour Bus.....

Charlottesville, having not one, but two concert arenas, is now beginning to attract some pretty big names in entertainment. Jay-Z, Elton John, George Jones, Rascall Flatts, and Eric Clapton have all played shows in Charlottesville in the past 18 months.

A tour bus showed up in town this past Thursday. Not an uncommon sighting in this day and age. The name "Kid Rock" was on the side of this one, with a huge Jim Beam logo. A very nice airbrushed graphic reading "American Bad-Ass" across the nose. It quite obviously was THE tour bus that carried the entertainer himself. It was parked at this particular time on West Main Street, in the midtown area.

Several local cab drivers, including myself, use the parking lot across the street as a standby point, so naturally we looked at the bus from time to time. However, being an aspiring musician myself, I understand the extreme pressure of being in the public eye non-stop as an entertainer, so none of us approached the bus.

I left to pick up a customer, and when I got back, the bus had moved across the street into the parking lot, with two men standing outside it. They seemed to be trying to find a way around a bridge that the bus was too tall for.

After being told the bus was simply for advertising purposes, (yeah, right) I offered to help with re-routing them, which was met with some disdain and general attitude of "we don't need your help." Okay. Whatever. Five minutes later, the same guy asks two of us to pick up some people from a restaurant for them. Sure, no problem there.

Finding out that these people were indeed with the tour, I let them listen to one of my own songs, which they liked. I told them that if they could help with exposure or getting signed, the cab ride was on me. Yes, I know that it might have been all bullshit, but what's five dollars compared to a chance at getting discovered? They insisted on paying me anyway, however.

After they left the cab to go to the bus, however, the same guy that asked us to go pick these people up steps up and gets in my face, accusing me of double-billing them by charging a credit card and then taking cash. I don't even TAKE credit cards, so I simply told him that A) I didn't take credit cards, B) I didn't do business that way, C) if he had a problem with me, he didn't need to get in my face, D) he was outnumbered five-to-one, and didn't even have a reason to get in my face in the first place, and E) I tried to comp the ride and they insisted on paying.

I have one thing to say. If everyone in the entertainment business is THAT much of an asshole, I guess I should be glad I haven't made it yet!

Current Goings-On And Other Thoughts Circling My Mind.....

The old Mercury tripped 225,000 miles this week, and it is time to replace it. I know some might wonder why I am spending money to replace my cab when it might be better spent toward converting the bus, but it is time to retire the car before its repair bills prevent my escape from here.

The car has started burning oil, and the front suspension creaks and squeaks from the extreme wear. On top of that, these cars are known for transmission and differential problems past 200,000 miles as a taxicab. To fix what is currently known to be a problem, and what will be pending in the future, I will be much better off to replace the car than to fix it.

However, I was heavily influenced to buy a van rather than a sedan, since I lose so many fares due to groups of 5 or 6 that want to travel together. Sedans truly are going the way of the dinosaur in the transportation industry, and they are getting too expensive. Vans and buses are making a big comeback.

I bought a 2000 GMC Safari 7-passenger van last Friday. Nice van. Needs a couple things though, still getting that straightened out. Pics are coming. Now that I have a van, since the crybabies in the airport line have been so insistent on advising customers to shop rates, I will be displaying this or something similar on the windows......



You want to compare rates, FINE! Compare THIS! Even if I don't get any more business from it, it will be enough satisfaction to aggravate those that have aggravated me for so long.

On a more personal note, the more I hear "No Surprise", the more I realize I have GOT to get started on my bus.

Unfortunately, to facilitate that, I have to replace my cab so that I can save money toward the conversion, and that is taking precedence.

The Cost Of Being Difficult......

I'm sure that everyone who's ever worked a service job has wished that they could charge people extra for disrespecting or aggravating them. I have one of the few jobs that I can choose to do so at my discretion.

To explain a few things about the taxi business in my locality -- It can take upwards of 3-6 hours of waiting to get a fare from the airport -- which allows us to charge a minimum fare to or from the airport. My minimum charge is $25.00, to insure that I make a profit. After expenses, I actually make around $6.00 per hour.

In the rare occurence that I am the only cab available to serve multiple passsengers and destinations, I typically take the estimated total metered fare for the trip and divvy it up among the passengers equally, so no one feels that they are paying part of someone else's ride. Some people, however, will bitch even if hung with a new rope. The reason I came up with this idea is because invariably someone bitches that they are paying for someone else's ride.

Four people, three destinations. I offered to take them all for the minimum charge per stop -- a total of $75, since the metered fare for all three stops would have been close to $70 anyway.

Of course, they want to get stupid about it. "I paid $23 to come out here......" "Why should we each pay $25 when they're paying $25 for two people?" To bastardize a popular waltz tune..... Whine, whine, whine-complain.... bitch-bitch.... bitch-bitch! People really piss me off when they do this. They want convenience without paying for it.

To which I replied simply, "There are 10 companies in the telephone book that will gladly keep you waiting 20 or 30 minutes, and you are welcome to try them if you like." People do not realize that in this town, it is a 10 mile trip to the airport from just about anywhere. Nor do they really care.

Salvation showed up in the form of a second taxi returning to the airport. Three of them walked to the second cab, leaving the $23 lady to pay a metered fare by herself. I will add that the second taxi probly offered the same deal, or followed the ordinance by charging meter to the first destination, paid by the first person, at which point the meter is reset and the second passenger pays the metered fare to the second destination. Either way, I'd be willing to bet they felt pretty stupid by the time they got to where they were going. Six of one, half-dozen of the other in some cases.

So then the $23 lady told me to go completely the long way around, turning what would have been a $30-35 ride into thirty-nine and some change. I offered a discount, as some passengers will tip the difference anyway. Nope.

On to the next moron. Woman comes out and wants to go to a local hotel, to which the base fare was about $38 or so. As I mentioned earlier, extra charges are present on my posted rates, but I rarely use them unless I feel the situation warrants it (customer attitude or high fuel prices).

She didn't say it in so many words, but her tone made it clear that she felt like I was charging too much. I have one thing to say. Buy me a tank of gas, or pay the fare.

She made such an obvious fuss over this that while waiting on the bench in front of the terminal for another fare, I decided not to get mad, but to get even. She approached another taxi that was obviously already loading a passenger, and that combined with the general disrespect of insinuating I was overcharging ensured that $25.00 per person would be charged, no matter how many people entered the cab. The extra charges posted for night service, luggage loading and county pickup or destination came to $4.00.

So not only did the lights actually work in my favor for a change and catch me at nearly every one, she springs credit card payment on me. I love how people assume their plastic can get them through every situation in life. Anyway, we had to stop at an ATM so she could get cash to split the fare with the second passenger.

So then she makes a fuss about the extras, to which I replied that I quoted her the base fare before extras, that fuel is currently approaching $3.00 per gallon, and that she was actually getting the extras for half price by splitting the fare, so what was the problem?

Who knows, maybe she'll treat her next cab driver with a little respect. I don't ask for much. I just want to make a living without being called a crook when I don't even make minimum wage.

Thought I Was Kidding About The Nursery School?

If you thought I was kidding about my line of work having become a nursery school, check this out.....

Five days ago, I discovered that someone had taken a knife and cut my new city taxi permit sticker off of my rear bumper. I called the police and made a report, just in case someone was really cheap enough to steal another cab's permit when they only cost $5-10. I also moved the cab to another location to park it.

Today, when I picked the car up, one of my tires was flat. Mind you, they are brand-new with less than 2,000 miles on them, and no history of leakage.

After filling it with fix-a-flat and topping off the air pressure, I carefully inspected it with a flashlight. No screws, nails, or other foreign objects in the tire. As a matter of fact, there was still air pressure in the tire before I filled it with fix-a-flat, which pretty much proves someone let the air out of it. I'm pretty sure I know who did it, and they will get theirs. That's the beautiful part about karma, it happens whether I do anything or not.

Now, I ask you, is there any reason for grown men to act this way?

Another Here's Your Sign Story..........

One night this lady comes up to my silver and blue Grand Marquis with the company name down the side of it, top light blazing, and says, "Are you a taxi?"

I just looked at her and said, "Nope. Doctor says I should sit in the car more often. It's healthier."

Couldn't have gotten a better look on her if it had been planned. Nice lady, but she just wasn't thinking.

The Risk We Take......

Just got to thinking about an incident from when I leased from a 'MAJOR' company here in town. One of the many reasons I left and started out on my own....

Actually, there are two parts to this story.......

One night, I picked up a kid from a restaurant on Main Street. He was very vague about where he was going, and didn't really seem to know.

I was about to kick him out, and he decided to go to one of the seedier parts of town. I realized what he was up to when he had me stop near a group of thugs on a street corner -- he was there to buy drugs.

The thugs got a look at me and got all paranoid -- "Cab gotta pull over there, man...." I didn't know it then, but I resembled a man who had driven a cab for the same company and had been an informant for the local police. I could have been shot on sight that night for something I didn't even know about.

This kid was stupid on a whole new level. He then had me take him to a local store for adult books and such, even though I told him it was closed. He then wanted exact change back from a $100 bill on a $25.00 fare. I told him in no uncertain terms to never get in my cab again.

Months later, he called the same company, and guess who the lucky winner of the order was? My first mistake was not ditching him when I realized who he was. My second mistake was letting his supplier get in the car with him. I wasn't going to let there be a third mistake.

They started scrapping over money and I finally told them both to get out of the car. They didn't, so I finally said, "I'm getting out of this car for 30 seconds, and when I get back in it, you better not be. We can do this with or without police attention, and I prefer without."

The dealer got out of the car at the same time I did, and dragged the kid out of the other side, at which point six or seven of his buddies started kicking and beating on him. I tipped my hat and said, "Have a nice night, sir. I didn't see a thing." I then got back in the car and proceeded to lay rubber from where I was parked, 10 feet before an intersection, across the intersection and ending 15 feet on the other side.

10 blocks later, I parked and looked at the meter. I'd been stiffed for probably $9.00 in fare. $9.00 was worth my being alive, though.

Several weeks later, the owner of the company wouldn't credit my lease payment on a car that I couldn't drive safely. I had already bought a car and set it up as a taxi cab. I was going to put it into the 'MAJOR' company, but having my life endangered by a moron, and having it further endangered by someone else's vehicle not being properly maintained made me decide to put my own name on the car and work it for myself.

The REAL Taxi Cab Confessions.....

As I'm sure anyone that knows me or reads my blogs is aware by now, I own and operate a small independent taxi cab service in Charlottesville, Virginia.

You would think that most industries, while would be a sense of competition, there would be some notion of comraderie amongst those of us in the same industry..... nope.

Unfortunately, you can't get any of these guys to agree on anything long enough to go get ice cream together. And most of them insist on blackballing each other with customers, and will seemingly stop at nothing to take each other's business.

I, for one, just come out to make a living. I'm not out to take any other company or operator down. But the majority of the drivers in this business act like four-year olds, especially when it comes to the airport. *shakes head*

The big issue that started all this is that neither the City Of Charlottesville, nor the Charlottesville-Albemarle Airport Authority, nor the County Of Albemarle regulate the actual rate of fare with taxicabs. It is left open to what the city calls 'open market competition', and unfortunately, everyone cuts their own throat in this business in the name of volume. It's completely stupid.

The reason I say that is because you can't count on getting thirty fares a day. Sometimes you can't count on getting three. I myself have had days (plural) where I sat around town for 15 hours and only took in thirty-five dollars. Of course, these were the days when I had just gotten in the business and had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Now, through trial and error, I have figured out how to make the business turn a profit. Unfortunately, some changes never come easy.

On one plane, there are customers who raise eyebrows when one cab charges more for the same trip than another. I can understand this to a degree, as it is regulated in NYC and DC. But the expenses in this industry are so volatile and so necessary that I don't see how any locality could possibly regulate it fairly.

There are also customers that will not use your services over a few dollars. I have come to find that these folks generally are going to complain no matter what you charge them.

And then, last but not least, are the drivers who can't see the forest for the trees. I recently revised my rates when fuel shot up to $4.25 per gallon and continued to rise.

Of course, two months later, it dropped to about half of that. First, I don't expect this drop to last. Secondly, Obama is proposing a carbon-based fuels tax on top of the 36 cents per gallon taxes we are already paying. I'm changing nothing until I know what is going to happen.

One thing I simply will not tolerate is someone presuming to tell me how to run my business, especially someone who does not know my expenses, or worse, does not even know the business.

A lot of drivers at the airport have a tendency to mind everyone's business but their own. A lot of game playing goes on, such as complaining about petty things that may or may not be true to attempt to cause another operator to be suspended or barred.

I have heard countless snide remarks about my rate of fare, up to and including that my rates are running customers off, though I've never told anyone that they HAVE to take MY taxicab. I know that these remarks are simply an attempt to rile me into doing something stupid to get myself barred from the airport, or goad me into quitting working the airport, or changing my rates. None of the above. And I don't get mad, I get even.

I finally told one of these fellows that if I heard any more about it, I would work twice as much just to annoy them. Of course, they didn't take me seriously.

So I have made it a point to be at the airport way before anyone else is, and I work up until the airport closes for the night. This serves two purposes. I make more money, and I know it is driving them bananas, though none of them will admit it. I believe that if someone gets aggravated over something that is none of their business.... good for them! Give them more :) Which I am more than happy to do.

So now the rumor is that I'm homeless because I'm at the airport all the time.... ROFLMAO! I hope these guys don't actually believe the crap that comes out of their mouths. Does anyone have any cheese to go with their whine?

To be continued...... This is the REAL Taxicab Confessions!!!!

Whew!

I have a few rules in my taxi cab. Some of them are for my protection, some of them for protection of my equipment, and some are for protection of my passengers.

One of those rules is very much both for my protection AND my passengers. If a female passenger (especially by herself) does not know where she is going and I have no way to find out where she needs to go, I stop a cop right then and there. Cab drivers have an unnecessary and undeserved reputation for having BO and trading fares for sexual favors, among other things.

I'm not like that. If a female passenger shows interest in me, I give her my card and tell her to call me when I'm off duty. It never goes beyond that, usually they lose my card or whatever.

A lone female UVa student was put in my cab last night by her "friends" with about eight dollars to get her where she was going. The address they gave me wasn't right, and she couldn't (or wouldn't) tell me where she lived.

After five places that were not where she lived, I asked to see her ID. Perfect. An out-of-town address, so that was no help. After repeatedly asking her where she lived, she finally muttered, "Just park."

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

"Take me to your place," she said. Oh, hell, no. Not when she's this drunk and can holler rape later. And certainly not when I'm working.

Just then a Crown Vic pulls up behind me. Never thought I'd say this, but hot damn, here comes a cop.

Before it was over with, she told the cops I was trying to hook up with her (she was so drunk the cop didn't believe her, seeing as I was the one who asked for their help), then blew a .21 on the Breathalyzer. When I gave them the name that was on the ID she gave me, they found a credit card in her wallet that had a different name. Uh-oh.

Turns out she was underage and had been drinking on her older sister's ID. Now she's REALLY in trouble. Would have been a simple drunk in public charge if not for that. But if she had gotten her head out of her ass and told me where she lived instead of trying to hem me up, she would have had no problem.

I still can't believe this bitch tried to get me locked up for something I didn't do. And women wonder why I have a hard time trusting them. This is why, ladies. I usually have a hard time even asking a woman out and that's IF I find someone I'm interested in (rare).

A Little Bit Of The Pot Calling The Kettle Black....

I arrived at the airport today to find a fellow standing ready and waiting with five suitcases, despite the fact that another taxi was already in line before me.

Turns out the taxi in line ahead of mine did not want to load that much luggage. Interesting that this taxi's operator is one of the same group that points the finger at me and others for overcharging. At least I DO MY job and serve the customer's needs.

The customer was happy just to get a taxi at this point, and actually tipped me about $5.00 over the fare amount. Very nice fellow, I hope and look forward to doing business with him again.

Darwin Award Candidate of 2002.......

During fraternity / sorority rush week at the university, I got a call to a rather populated area of the main fraternity / sorority area.

The house was dark, and no one answered the phone. I was just about to leave when a guy steps out of the bushes, stark naked except for tennis shoes and something hanging around his neck.

He reached for the door, and I asked, "May I help you?" He says, "I called for the cab." Of course, I'm doing a Spooner from I, Robot.... "Oh, HELL, no!"

The guy runs and jumps in front of the car. One way street. "Wait, wait!"

"Brother, you don't have clothes, therefore, you don't have any money."

He produced a $50 bill, to which I responded, "You've got 30 seconds to explain this. It better be good, and I'm promising nothing."

His "mission" to get into the fraternity was to take a taxicab 3 times around the fraternity area...... stark naked........ mooning everyone along the way.

I was not in the least interested in being part of this debacle, but he told me no one else would do it either. "There's a reason for that," I said. "Cops catch us, they could yank my taxi permit."

I finally told him if he brought some clothes with him, at least I would be able to say he had clothes on when he got in the car.

What neither one of us was counting on was a girl hiding in the bushes outside a sorority with a big Super Soaker..... the kind with a huge tank on it? YEAH. Not only was it a 40 degree night, she was a crack shot, no pun intended.

He was soaked, my back seat was soaked, and both of us were trying to figure out what had happened. When he saw her approaching to nail him again, he yelled, "Go, man, go!!!"

I responded, "Let's get one thing straight. I'm doing this in the interests of my interior, not you." He wound up walking a couple blocks naked that night. Served him right. Took two hours to dry my seats where they could be used again.

He happened to be with a group of his friends that called me later that year. He recognized me, but I didn't recognize him (big surprise, he had clothes on this time). When I realized who he was, I asked if he got into his fraternity, which he had. "Was it worth it?" I asked.

"I don't know, I've been drunk ever since." Ah, the naivety of youth.