Darwin Award Candidate of 2002.......

During fraternity / sorority rush week at the university, I got a call to a rather populated area of the main fraternity / sorority area.

The house was dark, and no one answered the phone. I was just about to leave when a guy steps out of the bushes, stark naked except for tennis shoes and something hanging around his neck.

He reached for the door, and I asked, "May I help you?" He says, "I called for the cab." Of course, I'm doing a Spooner from I, Robot.... "Oh, HELL, no!"

The guy runs and jumps in front of the car. One way street. "Wait, wait!"

"Brother, you don't have clothes, therefore, you don't have any money."

He produced a $50 bill, to which I responded, "You've got 30 seconds to explain this. It better be good, and I'm promising nothing."

His "mission" to get into the fraternity was to take a taxicab 3 times around the fraternity area...... stark naked........ mooning everyone along the way.

I was not in the least interested in being part of this debacle, but he told me no one else would do it either. "There's a reason for that," I said. "Cops catch us, they could yank my taxi permit."

I finally told him if he brought some clothes with him, at least I would be able to say he had clothes on when he got in the car.

What neither one of us was counting on was a girl hiding in the bushes outside a sorority with a big Super Soaker..... the kind with a huge tank on it? YEAH. Not only was it a 40 degree night, she was a crack shot, no pun intended.

He was soaked, my back seat was soaked, and both of us were trying to figure out what had happened. When he saw her approaching to nail him again, he yelled, "Go, man, go!!!"

I responded, "Let's get one thing straight. I'm doing this in the interests of my interior, not you." He wound up walking a couple blocks naked that night. Served him right. Took two hours to dry my seats where they could be used again.

He happened to be with a group of his friends that called me later that year. He recognized me, but I didn't recognize him (big surprise, he had clothes on this time). When I realized who he was, I asked if he got into his fraternity, which he had. "Was it worth it?" I asked.

"I don't know, I've been drunk ever since." Ah, the naivety of youth.