Well, to update.... I have shut down my own trade name and put my van into a larger company to use their dispatch service.... the money is only marginally better, but it is more consistent...
I find it interesting that some have called me a sell-out in doing so, when they were the very people trying to torpedo me in the first place!
I have an interesting dilemma now, and not quite sure what to do with it....
After the fiasco of a long-distance relationship going south, I decided that relationships in general just are not in the cards for me. Therefore, I do not plan to pursue one with anyone. I simply feel I am too damaged to contribute usefully to such an arrangement.
A girl nearly 14 years my junior and I have been seeing each other recently, and I believe she is starting to want more than I can give her right now. Not sure what to do with this, because I do not want to hurt this person, she has been hurt many times before.
*sigh* Why does life have to be so damned complicated?
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Vids For Three Of My Favorite Songs......
Videos for three of my favorite songs....... These songs have powerful messages for anyone who has dreams, so check them out.....
Friday, September 4, 2009
More Thoughts On Moving On........
New song I heard recently, "No Surprise" by Daughtry, also #2 on my MySpace profile playlist. I don't usually listen to radio. However, I am driving my van a bit to test it before I make it a taxi and it only has an AM-FM radio. I've been hearing this song on the radio the last few weeks and thought it was Nickleback (sorry Chris!).
I like this song for a lot of different reasons than the song was written, one being that I wish I had written it. It sounds a little like something I might have written on one of my better days..... LOL.
Listening to it, it really speaks to me and my state of mind lately, especially the second chorus lyrics:
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed 'til today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God knows we tried to find an easier way
Yeah, you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we will find this was no surprise......
There is so much in this song that speaks to me, about things both from my past and my present. I know everything happens for a reason, but I had at least two golden opportunities to leave this town over 10 years ago. The official video for this song and others are in a newer post entitled "Vids For Three Of My Favorite Songs".
Unfortunately, I saw a lot of dumb-ass reasons to stay, and I let this influence my decisions. I've come to find most of those "reasons" not only WEREN'T really reasons to stay, but most of them betrayed me at some point, which has ultimately influenced and affected my happiness.
I've thought for a long time that I'm not where I need to be, and the past few years have only compounded that feeling. I also know that at the tender age of 33, there are things that I want to get out and see before I am too old to.
I like this song for a lot of different reasons than the song was written, one being that I wish I had written it. It sounds a little like something I might have written on one of my better days..... LOL.
Listening to it, it really speaks to me and my state of mind lately, especially the second chorus lyrics:
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed 'til today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God knows we tried to find an easier way
Yeah, you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we will find this was no surprise......
There is so much in this song that speaks to me, about things both from my past and my present. I know everything happens for a reason, but I had at least two golden opportunities to leave this town over 10 years ago. The official video for this song and others are in a newer post entitled "Vids For Three Of My Favorite Songs".
Unfortunately, I saw a lot of dumb-ass reasons to stay, and I let this influence my decisions. I've come to find most of those "reasons" not only WEREN'T really reasons to stay, but most of them betrayed me at some point, which has ultimately influenced and affected my happiness.
I've thought for a long time that I'm not where I need to be, and the past few years have only compounded that feeling. I also know that at the tender age of 33, there are things that I want to get out and see before I am too old to.
Friday, June 19, 2009
The Great Dilemma....
Picked up my motorhome a couple days ago. I've dubbed it the EM-50, after the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle project, in true "Stripes" fashion. Long story, and hard to explain if you haven't seen the movie.
It's getting really easy to decide to convert my bus. EM-50 has problemS, plural. Nothing that can't be fixed, but I really think I'll spend just as much fixing it all as I would converting my bus, and I would have more room. (The motorhome has around 19 feet of usable space, whereas the bus has 26 feet.) Not to mention that I now have most, if not all, of what I need to convert the bus. I have already dubbed the bus "Cheese Wagon."
The motorhome has a few electrical problems, roof leaks, windshield leaks, minor interior damage from the leaks, and pending fuel system problems (possibly watered-down or bad fuel). I may spend close to $3500-4000 to fix all this, and I think I could convert the bus nicely for that amount. "Cheese Wagon" would stand up to bad weather, high winds, and wayward tree limbs and other foreign objects much better than the "EM-50", as well. More to come.....
It's getting really easy to decide to convert my bus. EM-50 has problemS, plural. Nothing that can't be fixed, but I really think I'll spend just as much fixing it all as I would converting my bus, and I would have more room. (The motorhome has around 19 feet of usable space, whereas the bus has 26 feet.) Not to mention that I now have most, if not all, of what I need to convert the bus. I have already dubbed the bus "Cheese Wagon."
The motorhome has a few electrical problems, roof leaks, windshield leaks, minor interior damage from the leaks, and pending fuel system problems (possibly watered-down or bad fuel). I may spend close to $3500-4000 to fix all this, and I think I could convert the bus nicely for that amount. "Cheese Wagon" would stand up to bad weather, high winds, and wayward tree limbs and other foreign objects much better than the "EM-50", as well. More to come.....
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