The Delusions Of Idiots Are Truly Amazing...

And amazing furthermore that they are usually college students! Tonight was a night I NEVER want to repeat, but it will from time to time.... over and over. I had a string of three orders that didn't show up, cancelled when I got there, or worse still, call a friend at the same time and cancel while they were getting IN the cab!

So, seeing as most of my in-town dispatch orders were eaten up with stupiditis, I opted for an order outside of Charlottesville, which only went three miles.... Now, I'm starting to get disgusted.

Coming back into town, the dispatcher is calling for a van on the far end of town the entire fifteen minutes I'm driving back in. The order is dispatched to me, and it becomes a Mongolian clusterfuck.

The phone number is not right, so I can't call them. After three attempts circling the building, I give up and leave.

When I am 15 blocks away, the dispatcher asks me to return because these idiots are "coming outside now". I return, and after calling these morons back, they are NOT at the address given, they are around the corner at the other end of the lot!

Now, I'm getting pissed. Surprise, surprise. Same group of silly bitches that cancelled the cab because their friend showed up right after I did. They get a message that the party they're going to is getting shut down, and say something about getting out of the cab (the meter was only around $2.30 by then). Now I'm going nuclear. Then they ask the STUPID, stupid question, "What do you do when that happens?"

I finally lost it. I simply replied, "I do my level best not to try to answer their call again."

Again, a STUPID, stupid question. "Why is that?"

I replied as calmly as I could, "Because I buy my own fuel, upkeep my own vehicle, and I don't have time, money or patience to drive across town to pick someone up that isn't worth wasting it on. I've made two trips across town for you tonight, one of which you cancelled when I got there, one of which you made me make two trips and then want to stop before you get two blocks."

Needless to say, after dropping these idiots off, I asked dispatch to note in their computer system to NEVER send me for that phone number again.

There's One In Every Crowd....

Gotta love this one just for the irony...

First, let me start out by saying last night was rough. Steady, but rough. Seems like most of the drivers for this company went home at midnight. I guess they were going to turn into a pumpkin...

Anyway, after a string of bad luck, I was sent to a "prestigious" bed and breakfast east of town. People that stay at this place are notorious for being cheap, at least in my experience.

I arrive for the pickup at 3 am. I should have started the meter when I got there. Despite calling their front desk and being informed that the customer had been told the cab was there and waiting, it was 3:25 before we actually got moving, because A) one of these morons had an open beer, which is against state law to transport, B) another of these morons couldn't find her purse, C) once she found her purse, she couldn't find her phone. Are any of these MY fault? NO.

Even though moron #3 was in the cab around 3:15, she asked that I STILL not start the meter. Figuring they would make up for it in tip, I stupidly did not, costing myself $10.00 in wait time.

Long story short, these morons kept me waiting 25 minutes and tipped me less than a dollar. What kept me from giving it back and saying they needed it more than I did, I'll never know. I think I was just resigned to the fact that the night was going to suck.

Where am I sent once I dropped these idiots off? Right back to the same "prestigious" bed and breakfast. Turns out the couple I was picking up that time were supposed to have caught the ride with the idiots I had just dropped off.....

Once I heard that, they got a FULL report, and they were embarrassed by the way their friends had acted. I'm sure they mentioned it to their friends.

I found out that these people were here for a wedding, which was costing them nothing. And they want to fuss about paying for wait time holding up a taxi?! My new rule is: If I come to pick someone up, they get two minutes. Meter starts at that point, and I don't care how much you whine or bitch about it, because I can't count on you tipping that much.

People, when you call for a taxi, it's not the driver's fault if they arrive before you're ready. It's your fault for calling for a cab before you're ready. Every minute you hold us up is time lost from another fare, especially when you're stupid enough to keep a driver waiting nearly a half-hour. You're keeping us from making our living. Get over yourselves.

Everyone Is Entitled To Be Stupid, But Government And Other Authorities Abuse The Privilege.....

Okay, this all started when I discovered that my van seats one passenger more than allowed on a taxi permit. Simplest solution I could come up with was to remove the front passenger seat to stay within that limit.

I discussed this with Motor Carrier Services, AND not one, but TWO state troopers, who saw no problem with this. I removed the seat a month ago. Nothing was said until two weeks ago, when the local airport authority did a surprise inspection and took issue with the seat being removed. They demanded I reinstall the seat and said I would not be allowed back at the airport until I did so.

I informed them that by doing so, they were requiring me to violate code and go against what the state told me was okay to do, and that the two authorities were going to have to work it out, as I had done as the state said was doable.

Now, Motor Carrier Services is agreeing with the airport authority, when THEY allowed this vehicle to be registered as a taxicab in the first place! Virginia's state government is full of shit. They can't even be consistent.

Of course, they wait until I have spent $200 having the van re-lettered. I figured, okay, throw the seat back in to please the airport, and just don't let anyone ride in the front seat.

Apparently, this is STILL not good enough for the airport authority. I thought the part of the seat belt that attaches to the floor was mounted to the seat, so it was forgotten when the seat was reinstalled.

Even though another driver running a 10-passenger limo was allowed to run after simply removing seatbelts, the airport is now taking issue on this. I am convinced that some people are a pain in the ass just to be a pain in the ass. And most of them have government jobs!

I think I am going to simply transfer my airport permit to another vendor who wants it. I am quite fed up with jumping through hoops for the "privilege" of waiting 10 hours to make maybe $40.00. Some might say that I have allowed those who want me gone to win, but I beg to differ. Just how much aggravation is it worth to make $40 a day after expenses?

I am working on offering service to the airport in the next city..... more info at the following link....

Taxi Service From Charlottesville To Richmond Int'l Airport For As Little As $30

Here's Your Sign..... Again!!!

Now to outline the utter hell I went through in California....

Should have been simple, drop the car off to the lady's family there, and they were supposed to get me to the bus station to catch my train back.... Riiiiight.

I was dropping the car off in Aptos. I was getting very sick, and still had to drive 700 miles in about 12 hours. I had a reservation with Amtrak to catch a connecting bus out of Santa Cruz, near there, at 5:25 am. That bus was to San Jose, about 25 miles away, where I was to catch a coach train to connect with the scenic California Zephyr train back east.

Speaking with these folks the night before, it was agreed that to avoid waking them, I would nap in the car until they woke up once I got there.

Due to apparently insufficient aptitude to look in the driveway, this guy is sitting in his living room, wondering if he should call me. I wake up at 5:45, and my bus has departed 20 minutes ago.

Then it took an act of God to get these idiots to understand that simply dropping me at the bus station was not going to work now, because I was going to have to pay an extra $200 that I didn't have to reschedule my train tickets.... Not to mention the fun of waiting in a bus station for two days!

And they didn't even seem to WANT to help me make my train. Pretty fucked up, I thought, considering I slept in the car to avoid waking them when I got there... Not to mention it was their fault in the first place!

By some miracle, I managed to make my train with 4 minutes to spare. Moral of the story? Want something done right, do it yourself! I am definitely not going to California if and when I relocate.... I was not impressed with anything about the state.

Some People Are Just TOO STUPID To Be Left Unsupervised......

From a few days ago.... but still funny.....

Okay, so this moron picking up his friend at the airport parks 5 feet from the curb, half in the traffic lane, half in the loading zone. Opens his door just as I'm passing by and I just barely avoided ripping his door off. Keep in mind the speed limit in front of the terminal is 15 mph, and I was doing maybe 10.

Believe it or not, the door barely touched my bumper, but only because I swerved when I saw the door opening. When I mentioned that the vehicle was parked too far from the curb, the asshole driving it actually had the nerve to try to blame it on me by saying I should have slowed down. Give this guy a cork for his fork so he doesn't poke his eye out.

Keep in mind, my van's fender is barely longer than the tire, and the edge of his open door was barely even with the mirror on my van after I stopped, so does anyone think I was going too fast?

What a fucking moron. SUVs - Big Wheels For Little Minds!

Turnabout's Fair Play....

LMAO -- I just had SOOOO much fun with this nursery school of taxi drivers we have servicing the airport. I sort of "forgot" to put my new taxi inspection sticker on the car.

So all afternoon the other drivers were bitching and whining to the Airport Police. Finally an officer comes out to talk to me about it. I showed him my sticker, and he told me I needed to put it on the car. I was really hoping they would let me wait until I was first in line....

But you should have seen the look on their faces when I calmly walked back to the car and retrieved the sticker, peeled it off the backing and put it in its place on the rear bumper...... LOL! That'll teach them to mind their own damned business..... :P But we all know THAT'S not gonna happen.

Some People Just Don't Get It......

Okay, some jackass in Texas has filed a class-action lawsuit against Hooters because *HE* couldn't get a job there. Yeah, *HE*! You read that right. Granted, by only hiring females with large breasts, they do sort of discriminate, but Chris Rock was right ...... No one goes to Hooters for the wings. :P

A link to the video of this debacle is posted below:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=50231245

In closing, I guess this could go a long way towards explaining George W. Bush...... Texas is next door to Mexico, maybe it's something in the water?

The Risk We Take......

Just got to thinking about an incident from when I leased from a 'MAJOR' company here in town. One of the many reasons I left and started out on my own....

Actually, there are two parts to this story.......

One night, I picked up a kid from a restaurant on Main Street. He was very vague about where he was going, and didn't really seem to know.

I was about to kick him out, and he decided to go to one of the seedier parts of town. I realized what he was up to when he had me stop near a group of thugs on a street corner -- he was there to buy drugs.

The thugs got a look at me and got all paranoid -- "Cab gotta pull over there, man...." I didn't know it then, but I resembled a man who had driven a cab for the same company and had been an informant for the local police. I could have been shot on sight that night for something I didn't even know about.

This kid was stupid on a whole new level. He then had me take him to a local store for adult books and such, even though I told him it was closed. He then wanted exact change back from a $100 bill on a $25.00 fare. I told him in no uncertain terms to never get in my cab again.

Months later, he called the same company, and guess who the lucky winner of the order was? My first mistake was not ditching him when I realized who he was. My second mistake was letting his supplier get in the car with him. I wasn't going to let there be a third mistake.

They started scrapping over money and I finally told them both to get out of the car. They didn't, so I finally said, "I'm getting out of this car for 30 seconds, and when I get back in it, you better not be. We can do this with or without police attention, and I prefer without."

The dealer got out of the car at the same time I did, and dragged the kid out of the other side, at which point six or seven of his buddies started kicking and beating on him. I tipped my hat and said, "Have a nice night, sir. I didn't see a thing." I then got back in the car and proceeded to lay rubber from where I was parked, 10 feet before an intersection, across the intersection and ending 15 feet on the other side.

10 blocks later, I parked and looked at the meter. I'd been stiffed for probably $9.00 in fare. $9.00 was worth my being alive, though.

Several weeks later, the owner of the company wouldn't credit my lease payment on a car that I couldn't drive safely. I had already bought a car and set it up as a taxi cab. I was going to put it into the 'MAJOR' company, but having my life endangered by a moron, and having it further endangered by someone else's vehicle not being properly maintained made me decide to put my own name on the car and work it for myself.

Whew!

I have a few rules in my taxi cab. Some of them are for my protection, some of them for protection of my equipment, and some are for protection of my passengers.

One of those rules is very much both for my protection AND my passengers. If a female passenger (especially by herself) does not know where she is going and I have no way to find out where she needs to go, I stop a cop right then and there. Cab drivers have an unnecessary and undeserved reputation for having BO and trading fares for sexual favors, among other things.

I'm not like that. If a female passenger shows interest in me, I give her my card and tell her to call me when I'm off duty. It never goes beyond that, usually they lose my card or whatever.

A lone female UVa student was put in my cab last night by her "friends" with about eight dollars to get her where she was going. The address they gave me wasn't right, and she couldn't (or wouldn't) tell me where she lived.

After five places that were not where she lived, I asked to see her ID. Perfect. An out-of-town address, so that was no help. After repeatedly asking her where she lived, she finally muttered, "Just park."

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

"Take me to your place," she said. Oh, hell, no. Not when she's this drunk and can holler rape later. And certainly not when I'm working.

Just then a Crown Vic pulls up behind me. Never thought I'd say this, but hot damn, here comes a cop.

Before it was over with, she told the cops I was trying to hook up with her (she was so drunk the cop didn't believe her, seeing as I was the one who asked for their help), then blew a .21 on the Breathalyzer. When I gave them the name that was on the ID she gave me, they found a credit card in her wallet that had a different name. Uh-oh.

Turns out she was underage and had been drinking on her older sister's ID. Now she's REALLY in trouble. Would have been a simple drunk in public charge if not for that. But if she had gotten her head out of her ass and told me where she lived instead of trying to hem me up, she would have had no problem.

I still can't believe this bitch tried to get me locked up for something I didn't do. And women wonder why I have a hard time trusting them. This is why, ladies. I usually have a hard time even asking a woman out and that's IF I find someone I'm interested in (rare).

More Frat Brat Stories.......

Some time ago, when I still ran a Chevrolet Lumina for a taxicab, I had a call from a female UVa student to pick up on "Beta Bridge" as it is commonly called.

This idiot did not tell me she had 9 people. I legally cannot take any more passengers than I am insured for and have seatbelts for. I am insured for up to 6, but my vehicle only had seatbelts for 5.

I have had this situation many times before, so I have implemented an overload charge of $10.00 per extra person as a deterrent. If I am going to do two cars' worth of work, I am going to be paid for two cars' worth. It is only fair.

So this girl got pissed off because I charged her $20.00 extra for 4 extra people. This becomes a two part story.

Two months later, I observed a group of people on the sidewalk just off of the Downtown Mall. It is 4:30 in the morning and just about every cab in town is proceeding to the after hours club, and not even paying any attention to the Downtown Mall, because nothing is open there at that hour.

This moron darts into the street in front of the car, and I am still not sure how I didn't hit him. I told him it wasn't smart to run out in front of a moving car, and he ignored me, saying "Can you take us?" I told him if I took over 5 people I had to charge extra, to which a familiar face said, "Oh, that's that weirdo guy."

Weirdo? Okay. I locked the doors and started driving off. They started yelling and waving for me to stop. Nope. Don't think so. I went around the after-hours club and picked up a nice fare going across town.

Unfortunately, one side of the club is on a one-way street and I had to drive past these morons again. Again they waved and shouted. Again I drove on by.

Five minutes later, my phone rings. It is a customer that happens to be in the same building these jackasses are hanging around, waiting for a cab. I told him that I would call him when I was close, because I knew they would try to take his cab.

He was a little slow getting downstairs, and the same idiot that almost got clipped earlier runs up to me and asks if they can get the cab. I told him I was picking up someone who had specifically called me, and he said, "If they don't show up, can we get you?"

"No," I replied.

"Why not?" he asked.

I leaned out the window and said, "You see your little hoity-toity blonde friend there? I heard her call me a weirdo earlier, which is why I left you earlier. I will be happy to drive past you guys fifty more times tonight without picking you up."

"Why?"

"Because I don't need anyone's money bad enough to let them judge me or disrespect me, that's why. You kids need to learn that you're not better than anyone else in this town. You don't own this cab, you don't own me, you don't own this town, and you sure as hell don't own anyone else in it. Have a nice night."

My customer approached, and away we went into the night.

Do You Qualify?

Okay.... I'm sure I'm not alone in this, but seeing as in the past 24 hours, I have nearly been broadsided at 45 by a rice-rocket, sandwiched between two tractor-trailers, and run off the road...... I am listing my pet peeves while driving, I am sure more will be added as time goes on.

To those who can operate their stereo perfectly, but don't know what that funny-looking lever to the left of the steering wheel is for......

To those who don't enter a turn lane until they are forced to make a 90-degree turn, forcing everyone else to slam on the brakes........

To those who are too stupid to understand that daytime running lights are just that.... DAYTIME running lights, not full headlights and running lights......

To those who think it's their given duty to ride the passing lane matching speed perfectly with slower traffic........

To those who don't know what that pretty blue light on the dash that looks like a headlight means.........

To those who stop at green lights and blow through red ones.......

To those who stop ten feet before the line at every traffic light.........

To those who routinely cut off vehicles ten times the size of your own.......

To those who think as long as they keep the car between the solid white lines, it's okay to wander......

To those who back up against oncoming traffic when they miss a turn.........

To those who insist on hanging out in moving traffic beside vehicles whose tires are taller than your vehicle.........

To those who get more mileage out of a gallon of a gas than a set of brakes......

To those who stop ten feet before the next vehicle at every traffic light......

To those who routinely park with at least a fourth of the car out in traffic........

To those who sling an SUV around as if it were an F1 car..........

To those who stop traffic to let another vehicle in with a green light!!!! The driver behind you might know what you're doing, but the other ten behind them don't....

To those who drive 70 in the snow because you have 4-wheel-drive........

To those who can't park within 2 feet of the curb.......

To those who challenge other vehicles because yours is bigger and heavier........

To those who traded a Honda Civic in on a Chevy Suburban and can't get used to it........

To those who block an intersection when you know you're not getting through it before the light changes.......

To those who routinely sustain heavier damage than door dings........

To those who challenge other vehicles for the right-of-way because you have insurance.......

To those who pull forward to cut another driver off when you can't go anywhere anyway......

To those who can't park evenly with the curb............

To those who stop and block traffic with a green light when they realize they're in the wrong lane.........

To those whose license plates strike fear in the hearts of pedestrians everywhere......

To whose who challenge emergency vehicles for the right-of-way......

To those who think it's okay to stop in traffic and turn on your hazards to talk to someone. Do you know what a parking space is for?

To those who can't park in one space.......

To those who change direction with the wind because you don't know where the hell you're going......

To those who assume you are the only one on the road or in the parking lot and move without looking....

To those who refuse to make a right turn on red --- with no sign restricting it and no traffic.........

To those who think a yield or stop sign is a suggestion..........

To those who go three blocks up a one-way street the wrong way because they're too lazy to go down one block and turn.........



Turn in your driver's license. You probably don't belong behind the wheel of a lawn mower, and I wouldn't trust you on a Segway without a helmet, you're too stupid.

Here's Your Sign......

People have a really annoying tendency to leave their cell phones and wallets in public transportation vehicles. Hey, it happens. Everyone is forgetful sometimes.

But one very annoying habit that people have when they leave such things in taxicabs is that they expect us to bring it back to them at no charge.

One girl left a $300 phone in my cab one night -- and got pissed because I charged her $10.90 on the meter to bring it across town to her!

Let's look at this for a second. We're burning fuel to bring it back to you that could have been used to run a fare. We're also not available for a fare while we're bringing it back to you (if you want it right now, as most people do). Not to mention the fact that it's not our fault you left your belongings in the cab in the first place.

In my case, most people are lucky to even get it back, because of the fact that I'm not a major company, and no one knows who I am, so that they can call to check. I do, however, make an effort to find the person it belongs to.

So, if you ever leave such things in a taxicab, don't get mad if we charge you to bring it to you. Remember that we didn't make you leave your belongings in the cab. Also, think about what it will cost you in money, time and aggravation to replace your phone, or credit cards, etc. Be glad that you're getting it back without that hassle.